Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
