And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
