You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Found your dick twin last night
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
