Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
