so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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