okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
