I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
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Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
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I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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