Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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