tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
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At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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