Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
