i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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