I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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