I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
