just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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