I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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