You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
