I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
