My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Randomize
