I like to think it a success when the cops are called
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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