you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
