While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
