I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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