no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
