it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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