but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize