I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
