Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
