More tranny stories later!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
