Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize