12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
