Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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