Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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