I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
