you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
