Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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