so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
