I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
