like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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