She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
