I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Randomize
