Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize