I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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