My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize