I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize