U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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