i already hear my dad disowning me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
