We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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