You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
