So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
