Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
