I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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