Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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