I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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