May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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