UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
